Where Are My Tic Tacs!?

Where Are My Tic Tacs!?  

If you know where this line comes from without having to watch the clip, we can be friends.  I’m ashamed to admit I feel like Parker Posey in You’ve Got Mail quite frequently these days

Ever since I discontinued my medication for anxiety/depression this past summer, my anxiety has reared its ugly head more and more.  (Thankfully, the depression is a distant memory and I can only hope it won’t return, but I sometimes feel that’s only a matter of time).  I feel agitated frequently, and my temper can be very short.  This usually happens in moments of stress (obviously) and I’m trying to find ways to control it naturally.  For example:

• I was on the phone with the doctor’s office about getting referred for a test, and they were insisting I had to come in for a visit. I flat-out refused, demanded that they schedule me for the test without a visit (and the huge copay and wasted time I was trying to avoid), asked to speak with the office manager (who wasn’t there that day), and then promptly hung up on them.
• I still can’t bring myself to make phone calls to strangers – including the cable company and the bank.
• Mornings are hard for me (I’ve NEVER been a morning person).  My kids and I have to get out the door very early and it’s stressful.  Those of you with young children can understand, I’m sure.  Even though I’ve picked out their clothes the night before and my husband packs the lunches so they’re ready to go, we just can’t all seem to get it together in time.  I end up losing my temper with them and immediately regretting the things I say.
• I’m a cusser.  I’ve always been a cusser, but lately the cuss words seem to flow a little too easily.  I should probably try to control that.

But how?

• I’ve tried journaling, but at the height of my anxiety it’s not practical to whip out a journal and scribble my thoughts – especially at my work.
• I’ve tried self-talk, but I’ve run out of things to say.
• My coworkers know about my anxiety and have been gracious enough to get me a calming battery-powered water fountain, and a mini Zen rock garden (how awesome are they!?).  I joke that they don’t want to see me rage, but I’m sure that’s partly true.

I wish I could predict when the anxiety was coming, and maybe I could pop a Xanax, but it sneaks up on me most of the time.  I feel like the Hulk is about to burst out of me sometimes.  I care enough about my job and my friends to not let that happen though, but I need to find ways to control this anxiety.

Any suggestions?  Or maybe just a story to share?